Myung-Won Kim / Preschool Teacher
The first time I heard about this meditation, I was just about to finish high school. One of my favorite teachers suggested that I should try this meditation method at least once before I started college. I really didn’t see how this meditation would be any different from the yoga classes I was already taking. , ‘There is a good meditation center that I want to recommend but once you enter college, do it once.’ I thought it was no different from the yoga I was attending and I just skipped it. However, I found out that I am a person who must meditate…
Look for the True Self
After a very difficult high school life, I left my family to live on my own in the city of Seoul in South Korea and attend college. I remember thinking that I was finally free to live my life the way that I wanted. During my first semester I attended classes and tried to study harder than anyone else. I studied so hard I received scholarships. During breaks, I dreamed of participating in various activities and reading a lot of books. I believed that would be a happy life.
At the time, I had a good relationship with my boyfriend. But after about a year, all of that was gone. Even though I was far away from my parents who I had always thought of as oppressing me, I still couldn’t escape the pain in my mind and I really wasn’t happy. I’d met lots of new people and had lots of academic achievements but I still wasn’t satisfied.
At one point, I remember thinking that I just couldn’t continue like this. I started looking around for answers. I started to see a therapist. I also talked about my unhappiness with various friends. I couldn’t find the answer anywhere.
I ended up taking a leave of absence from college for about a month – though my family was opposed. I spent that month in my dorm room depressed. Right around that time, I was told about this meditation from one of my friends and I was so desperate, I started immediately. And very shortly after I began, I realized that everything I’d been through was just an old picture or memory and that this meditation was making my mind cleaner and lighter.
After looking deeply at myself, I know why I have to throw it away
At one point, I learned that I had never been grateful. And I was able to admit that I was the one who was wrong. The world I made and lived in was of my own making. It wasn’t my family’s fault or the fault of my surroundings that caused it. It was me. I also discovered that my depression was caused by my own high expectations for myself. I know that it’s because I have a desire to be better than others and I want to stand out. I found out that all of my problems went away when I just let go of my old pictures and memories.
It wasn’t very easy to let go of all the things that have been blocking up my mind and body for over 20 years, but I was fiercely committed to abandoning these old pictures and I changed little by little. Even now, I sometimes have a brush with certain people, I make mistakes and struggle. But the difference is that now I know how to give up my thinking about how I want things to be. Knowing how to differentiate between real and false mind, I am now able to objectively view and solve problems beyond my old my program. This is the biggest change I have had since starting this meditation.
About three years ago, my family’s house went up for auction. In the past, I would not have been able to sleep. I would have been anxious and stressed. But even through this possibly stressful time, I remained surprisingly calm and was able to reassure my parents to find a solution. And now everything is fine!
I so grateful for this meditation. It really changes people. And it made my life more comfortable and exciting!
Source: www.meditationlife.org
