See-yeon Lee / Employee
When I was a sophomore in high school, I first experienced insomnia. Whenever I fell asleep, I could see the people whom I disliked. They were usually my family members and some friends. I started to be afraid of falling asleep because of my nightmares, and that’s how my insomnia started. When I went to college, there were so many more days that I couldn’t sleep at all. I had to sleep for a few hours during the daytime and I felt so exhausted because I lacked energy.
I found that my insomnia came from my resentments towards my family members and some acquaintances.
I lost my appetite to the point where I could eat only one meal per day, and this lasted a few years. Then my health condition got much worse and I lost almost 25lbs within a few years. At that time, my father suggested I go see a doctor. But, I refused because I didn’t like whatever he said. My relationship with him was really bad. I was not looking for treatment. What I was looking for was liberation from my family members. I was longing for freedom.
In order to find freedom, I joined a band and learned how to play an instrument. I also read many books about religions and history. But, no matter how hard I tried, I could never achieve what I was looking for. I always felt something was missing.
Eventually, I decided to go to Australia for few years to get over my feelings of emptiness. Two weeks before going to Australia, I met this meditation.
I am finally able to sleep after throwing away my resentments.
I had always been thinking that the ones who annoyed me were my parents and some acquaintances. I thought they had hurt my feelings and I wanted to run away from them. But, when I looked back on myself through this meditation, I realized that the one who is at fault was me, not my parents. I had been creating nightmares on my own by suppressing all my negative emotions towards my parents. Additionally, all those negative feelings had been annoying my parents. I really felt ashamed of myself.
After a week of practicing this meditation, I was finally liberated from these negative minds within me. As I became the universe mind, I could feel constant freedom. And I finally found the freedom that I had been looking for. True freedom is becoming the unchanging universe mind which is our true self.
I canceled my trip to Australia, and continued to meditate at the meditation center. During the second week of meditation, I could sleep really well. I had been unable to sleep well for 7 years. Furthermore, my weight returned to normal.
It has been a year since I started this meditation. I completely forgot about insomnia. I have no more nightmares, and am able to sleep deeply, even oversleeping at times. My life now is perfectly balanced. The best part of my change is that I have unchanging and constant freedom wherever I go, whatever I do. I’m so happy now.
source: www.meditationlife.org
